A. I. McDermott Co., Inc.

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of
room at each side.

With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.

Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm currently at this level)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.

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From another badger.....

It's winter in Wisconsin

And the gentle breezes blow,

70 miles per hour at 52 below!

Oh, how I love Wisconsin

When the snow's up to your butt;

You take a breath of winter air

And your nose is frozen shut.

Yes, the weather here is wonderful,

I guess I'll hang around.

I could never leave Wisconsin,

'Cause I'm frozen to the ground.

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MY JOB HISTORY:

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned...couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumber jack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it...mainly because it was a so-so job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but it was just too exhausting.
I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.
I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes, but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.
My last job was working at a fancy coffee house, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
So, then I retired...and found I was perfect for the job!

Joke from the Town of Maple Creek County Newsletter

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A young minister was asked by a funeral director to hold a grave-side service for a homeless man, with no family or friends.

The funeral was to be held in a new cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first person to be laid to rest.

As the young minister was not familiar with the backwoods area, he got lost and being like some of the rest of us did not stop and ask for directions.

He finally arrived an hour late. He saw the back hoe and the crew, who were eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight.

He apologized for his tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open grave, where he saw the vault lid already in place. He assured the workers that he wouldn't hold them up for long, but this was the proper thing to do.

The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. And the preacher began.

As he preached, some of the workers began to say "Amen", "Praise the Lord", "Glory", and "Halleluiah". Well, it kind of got him going and sort of got wound-up and he preached like he'd never preached before: from Genesis all the way to Revelations.

He closed the lengthy service with a prayer, closed his bible and walked to his car.

As he was opening the door and taking off his coat, he overheard one of the workers saying to another, "I ain't never seen anything like that before and I've been puttin' in septic tanks for over twenty years!"

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Two-Day Course For Men

OPEN TO MEN ONLY -
ALL ARE WELCOME

Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants. The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step-by-step guide with slide presentations

TOILET ROLLS - DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Round table discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE - DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

REMOTE CONTROL
Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups.

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum

DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS - DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH - BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real-life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS - BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT
Learning how to live with being wrong all the time
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